Peer Review Comments
This page is dedicated to the comments that I made to my peers during the peer review stage of the writing process. In the comments section, I have posted the comments I made to my peers and how I went about commenting on their work.
“The essay has a nice flow and conveys a deep and meaningful story on how technology affects us. I especially enjoyed either the third or fourth paragraph where you delve into your reasoning on drone war and its dehumanization. I also appreciated that you developed a type of villain narrative for technology when you started talking about endorphins. I would just be careful of your grammar in a couple of places. Besides that, great job!”
This was a comment that I made on Tyler Ellwanger’s third paper for the course. During my peer review of his essay, I made sure to comment on what I liked about his paper along with some critiques. One of the things that I enjoyed about his paper, and commented on, was how he developed a villain narrative for technology. This villain narrative made the paper more enticing to read and much more direct in the message that he was trying to get across to his audience.
“Your essay has a nice start and your arguments become clearer and more aggressive throughout the paper. I would try to be more aggressive and to the point starting from your introduction, as in the beginning, I felt kind of bored. Your paper needs to deal harder “punches” at the very beginning to get people excited. Besides that, this is a well-thought-out paper.”
This was a comment that I made on Savannah Perkin’s third paper. Savannah’s third essay was well-thought-out and articulate, but I felt that something was missing. When I first started reading her paper, I was bored. However, as I started to read the essay become more direct and easier to decipher, as well as more exciting to read. By making the comment that she needed to deal harder “punches” at the start of her paper, I wanted her to go back and more direct and objective statements in her first couple of paragraphs. Besides that, Savannah wrote a very enticing paper.